Monday, January 17, 2005

I will now proceed to turn this water into funk...

On a not even tenuously defence and security related note, I notice that there has been a certain rumbling surrounding the appointment of a "Fun Czar" at Harvard University. This puts me in mind of Mr David Mellor, who gained the soubriquet "Minister of Fun" after being appointed Britain's first Secretary of State for National Heritage. In his case, quite a lot of fun as it later emerged that he was going at it hugger-mugger on the rumpy-pumpy front with some breed of blonde F-grade actress/model/Bedroom Charabanc behind his wife's back. The situation was rendered even more wince-inducing when it emerged that said model made a habit of sucking said minister's toes while he lay prone and... er... flustered wearing a Chelsea football shirt.

He clung on manfully for some time (to his job that is...) but was ultimately pried from office. He was replaced by Peter Brooke, former MP for my constituency when I am residing in London (Cities of London and Westminster - most of my friends get to live in scutty Vauxhall* - WAH-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaaaaaaagh!!!), who had himself recently stepped down from his position of Secretary of State for Northern Ireland after rashly being induced to gambol about singing "Clementine" on a television light entertainment show in the aftermath of an IRA bombing.

Ah, those were the days.

*The word "scutty" is used in its broadest and most positive sense and should not in any way be taken to imply that Vauxhall is in any way, shape or form a "dump", "flea pit" or "olde shitte hole". Please don't hunt me down and kill me like the dog that I am.


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